Healthy Confrontation – Part 2
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, Ecclesiastes 3:7
Confronting at a time when the person is most receptive takes wisdom. If you approach someone when they’re busy or focused on another task, they won’t be in the right frame of mind to deal with the confrontation effectively. Wait until they are able to listen and can give you their full attention. And you should make every effort to confront a person when he or she is alone, just as Jesus commanded: ‘If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private’ (Matthew 18:15). Confronting someone in the presence of others can cause them to become defensive in order to save face. Your goal is reconciliation, not embarrassment. If you have something ‘heavy’ to tell someone, it’s not a good idea to have the confrontation at their house or yours – select a neutral location. That way it will be easier for the person being confronted to leave the scene if he or she becomes belligerent. And there’s always the possibility that this could happen. Sometimes you have to temporarily lose people, to win them later. ‘He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue’ (Proverbs 28:23). Note the word ‘afterward’. If you don’t get the immediate response you desire, you can still win – especially if you pray and allow the Holy Spirit to work in a person’s heart. But you must be willing to take the risk and confront the situation in order to bring about the change you desire. If you don’t, things will remain the same – or get worse.
Heavenly Father, help me to be patient with the results of any confrontation. In Jesus’ Name, Amen