Getting Through Things Together
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Amy Simpson says: ‘When our children were four and six, I discovered I was…pregnant. Two weeks later I miscarried, sending us on an emotional roller coaster…While I recuperated, my husband held up wonderfully, but as soon as I was physically well, the loss hit him…He was withdrawn…didn’t want to visit family…he just wanted to be home, [whereas]…I wanted to forget…move on…be around people.’ When a couple faces something that affects them differently, how do you make it work? 1) Tell your spouse what you need. Sometimes emotions are so overwhelming you don’t know what you need. Do you need space? Do you want to talk? Do you want to be around people or be alone? Listen to your mate’s feelings. You may both have very different needs. 2) Deal with the core issue. Amy’s husband didn’t want to visit his family…and as we talked we discovered the real issue was he didn’t think they would be very supportive—plus he didn’t have the energy for a 700-mile road trip! 3) Be willing to compromise. Amy wanted to do something fun even if it wasn’t with his family. They were able to meet both their needs by getting together with family members closer to home. 4) Get help. Sometimes there’s no way to compromise. One spouse wants to talk and the other can’t bear to bring it up. Find a counselor or a Christian friend who can temporarily fill the gap. Having others pray with and for you makes a huge difference. But protect the intimacy in your marriage, and don’t let anything or anyone come between you and your spouse.
Heavenly Father, help me grow in my relationships and be open and honest and supportive of others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen