The only power you have over anyone who hurts you is the power to forgive. When you say, “I no longer hold it against you,” both sides are set free from the negative bond that exists between you. But there’s more: we also free ourselves from the burden of being ‘the offended one.’ As long as we don’t forgive those who’ve wounded us, we take them with us, or worse, we carry them like an albatross around our neck. The great temptation is to cling in anger to our enemies, then define ourselves as being offended and wounded by them. Forgiveness, therefore, not only liberates the other party, but it liberates us too! It’s the way to true freedom! Now, forgiving doesn’t always mean forgetting. Though we forgive somebody, the memory might stay with us for a long time. We can even carry it in our bodies as a physical sign. But forgiveness changes how we remember. It converts the curse into a blessing. When we forgive our parents for their divorce, our children for their lack of love, our friends for their unfaithfulness in times of need, or our counselors for their bad advice, we no longer have to suffer as victims of events over which we have no control. Forgiveness allows us to take back our power and not let the events destroy us. It actually allows those experiences to deepen our wisdom and sharpen our discernment. So remember – forgiveness heals memories!